Through a fictional character, the writer Muriel Sparks recommends a cat:
Birds are spectacular. They fly. I marvel at birds and thought students might benefit by their company. I considered the prospect of a canary in my classroom. I was told they’d not thrive in the chaos of junior high. I couldn’t argue with that. Still, it’s sobering to think that a creature that can prevail in a coal mine or Alcatraz needs to be protected from my habitation.
It didn’t occur to me then, but years later I wonder; maybe it’s not too much to ask of a canary. Perched in a high corner of the room where a teacher can keep a close eye. If the bird takes on a nervous twitch, weeks before Christmas Break, perhaps some alarm could be pulled. BONK! BONK! BONK! Timed to a flashing yellow strobe. Teachers drop coffee cups, meter sticks, laser pointers where they stand; and run for an exit. They gather in nervous clusters and compare notes. “ That one was close.” “I sensed something was wrong yesterday, but Tweety seemed fine, so I just kept working.” “Thank God for Tweety.” “So help me: that’s the last time we name the canary”.
Regardless, the canary was never really an option. I teach with more of a parakeet budget than a canary’s. So in those early years I went with the budgie. Do you think kids care about my nerves? Just the few; and gems they are. But; ask the throng to settle down for the sake of the bird and they’ll police each other. Ask the class to be real still so you can take the bird out of its cage to perch on the finger of a select student. It’s magic.
In my first year teaching, I thought I was being very original assigning a disruptive student to be the budgies buddy. This seventh grader had an honest to goodness mean streak, but would sit frozen in a desk, after school, trying to coax the parakeet out of his cage.
I kept maybe more rats than anything else. Rats are so quiet. Handled with care they interact well with students. Handled without care they bite. Two good lessons. Rats are cute as can be when they’re young. They don’t stay young very long but make up for it by making more young. The very first rat I bought was a female. I was not expecting that she was. My seventh grade life science students watched baby rats being born. It only seems that there were thirty of them. The rodents were a great component of my science classroom over the years but again, after a while I moved on. I don’t miss the rats but I miss the quiet.
Rats, birds, fishes. It seems my whole career I’ve been raising cat food in my lab. Why not a cat?
I honestly don’t know if I love cats or hate them. I know I’m intrigued by them. I am annoyed and impressed by the fact that they don’t give a rat’s scat about me. Just too cool to care. I don’t believe for a minute that a cat climbs into your lap because it loves you. The cat loves the warm nap. You’re an electric blanket. Easy to find, useful, but easily replaced. Yet to their indifference I cannot return indifference… I tell you there is a great deal of femininity in cats.
If I follow through on this and decide to keep a cat, I don’t anticipate that the cat will be any worse for the experiment. I know that I agree completely with Abraham Lincoln who said “I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it”. Animals ought to be treated well whether or not they provide any satisfaction. Same as with teenagers.